Make sure you read to the end to see a snippet of my current project! ;)

Aw Lord, They Pondering’

I have unfortunate news for everybody: I have discovered philosophy and I am going to make it everyone’s problem. I knew, very loosely, what philosophy is, obviously. But I just started getting into it and it’s making me insane.

I’d never really sat and thought about philosophy before. I’ve always been very STEM-oriented, very left-brained. I have always been more interested in what we know, and what we could know based on things that could be explained with tangible, concrete evidence. Abstract concepts never meant anything to me.

Until they did.

If you know me, then you know that I have been deeply obsessed with the video game Honkai: Star Rail. I started playing because I kept seeing one of the characters, Boothill, all over my social media feeds. He’s a hot cyborg cowboy with a tragic backstory. Consider me sold. But as I played, I found myself just getting really immersed into the entire world of the game. I also became increasingly attached to two other characters, Dr. Ratio and Aventurine. Individually, they are fascinating. (If I’ve learned anything, it’s that Hoyo has a penchant for creating the most complex, interesting characters in the video game market.) They, together, also have a really interesting dynamic.

And then it happened: I found a post on Tumblr that explained how Ratio and Aventurine complement each other in philosophical terms, how Dr. Ratio is the pinnacle of existentialism while Aventurine is the picture of absurdism. The post completely broke my brain because it was absolutely brilliant and, I think, a good introduction for me as to what those two schools of thought are, but also because I really resonated with the section on Dr. Ratio and existentialism. That resonating went further when a friend of mine (who is much more well-versed in philosophy) sent me God Is Dead by Nietzsche.

I think I’ve spoken in previous newsletters before about how difficult things were for me when I had to drop out of college for the first time. For most of my life, I’d known that I’d be going to medical school and becoming a doctor. Dropping out and having to face the reality that I wasn’t and had to find a different career path left me floundering. At the time, I had felt like an incredible failure and had jumped from new college program to new program in the hopes of finding something else that I could fit into. Something else for me to do. I’d always thought it a simple case of me feeling like I’d fail because I wasn’t smart enough. That was the most obvious explanation for my discomfort. But then I read God Is Dead and that Tumblr essay and I realized what it really was that I had experienced: I’d suddenly lost all purpose in my life and was slammed with the freedom of purposelessness and I didn’t know what to do with it. As somebody who’d always been shackled by a sense of purpose, this newfound freedom was absolutely terrifying to me. Because I am somebody who does like explanations for things, being able to better understand what I’d gone through does make me feel a lot better.

Of course, it’s been about ten years and I’ve gotten used to my purposelessness and have been able to find smaller-scale purposes for myself to fill the void, but it’s fascinating to think that I could have found an explanation this entire time in fucking philosophy.

As usual, I don’t really know what the purpose (haha, see what I did there?) of this essay was. Just more of me ramblin’ my thoughts, I guess lol.

The Stars Want Blood

Once again, there’s no real updates here. She’s still out in the world doin’ her thing! I will hopefully be back in the draft of the second book soon! I have been thinking a lot about possible titles and what the cover will look like, so stay tuned for more on that eventually! :)

Book Details

RELEASE DATE June 19th, 2024 (eBook, paperback)
GENRES Adult romantasy, dark romantasy, new adult, LGBTQIA+
LENGTH 166k words (she THICCC)
ORDER (eBook only, paperback) https://www.amzn.com/B0CTGNLZVS/
GOODREADS https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/206116326

Above Snakes

I have been so lost in the sauce of my current WIP: Above Snakes. A dystopian sci-fi romance inspired by Honkai: Star Rail, No.6, and Arcane. This story, in my opinion, is the most emotional and complex story I’ve come up with so far. I am currently at 50k words for the first draft which means I’ll be commissioning some character art to celebrate, so stay tuned for that!

In the mean time, here’s a little snippet to feed y’all! :)